FEAR AND LOVE DON’T MIX (or how to be more patient)

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He that can have Patience, can have what he will” – Benjamin Franklin

 

The child is afraid to go home from school. 

He does not like discipline.  No child does.  But the unreasonable anger that propels his parent(s) kills the effectiveness of what they are trying to teach and plants the seeds for future memory trees he will never want to sit beneath.

They loved each other but now they fear each other.  Fear the words that are so filled with hate. 

And neither will say “I am sorry”  And oh how those words can heal a wound and open up the beginnings of love again.

Some control their anger easier than others. 

It is a fact.

  Anyone who says they have never let ill conceived thoughts come tumbling out with no restraint are hardly making a truth.

But when a parent or a child or a mate sees the other person constantly trying to improve and saying “I am sorry” a hundred times and maybe more…it does make it easier to live with.

The WORDS “I am sorry” have little replacement value as against action.  There is no doubt about that.  But one has to begin somewhere…and not accepting blame is no place to begin.

Go for counseling.  Read a self-help book. (DON’T STOP WITH ONLY ONE)  Read the best self-help book of them all; THE BIBLE.

 When someone is giving you a hard time.   Go for the big picture.  Look beyond the moment.  Try to imagine what it was that shaped this angry person in front of you.  Were they one of those children who was raised with fear?  Are they filled with insecurity?  As you walk away from them, for staying near someone who has a mouthful of invectitude isn’t very helpful.

Thank them (silently in your mind) for being such a great teacher.  Study them, study them well, study not to be like them.  It can be a great learning experience.

The next time you loose your temper (I don’t see why they call it loose you temper…it’s your patience you’re losing) think the word LOGIC.  Shout it to yourself.  Write it across the roof of your mind.  And then apply it. 

Logic says you don’t want people to dislike you and not want to have you around.  Logic says that the more you gain a reputation as an angry person the less gain you will have of friends. 

Ask yourself whose fault it was the last time you had all out blowout with someone or a full blown pout?  Whose fault was it?  I’ll bet it wasn’t all their fault.  What do you think?  We can be our own worst enemies can’t we.

Do you want to fill your days with weariness?  Anger does that.  It wears one out.  Think about that.

Memory.  I remember the people in my lives who provided miserable examples of how to live.  Whose anger made them say and do things that filled my memory bank with such inopportune moments.  And I pray for forgiveness when I have been guilty of the same.  So farmer Brown (for that is what we will momentarily call both of us) watch what you are planting…you are planting memories that will grow into ugly trees of selfish misuse of time.

Practice makes perfect.  Well, when it comes to patience…no one manages that.  But it practice certainly helps…staying patient a minute longer and praying to get over it a minute sooner…

And oh…yes…we all have to begin somewhere.

An author for Reader's Digest writes how he studied the Amish people in preparation for an article on them.
In his observation at the school yard, he noted that the children never screamed or yelled. This amazed him.
He spoke to the schoolmaster.

He remarked how he had not once heard an Amish child yell, and asked why the schoolmaster thought that was so.

The schoolmaster replied, "Well, have you ever heard an Amish adult yell?"
Doctors from Coral Gables, Fla., compared the efficiency of the heart's pumping action in 18 men with coronary artery disease to nine healthy controls.

Each of the study participants underwent one physical stress test (riding an exercise bicycle) and three mental stress tests (doing math problems in their heads, recalling a recent incident that had made them very angry, and giving a short speech to defend themselves against a hypothetical charge of shoplifting). Using sophisticated X-ray techniques, the doctors took pictures of the subjects' hearts in action during these tests.

For all the subjects, anger reduced the amount of blood that the heart pumped to body tissues more than the other tests, but this was especially true for those who had heart disease.

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