Friday, February 26, 2016

THE MEMORY FACTORY

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Christmas is two months behind us but the message behind this Christmas story is too great to wait another 10 months before sharing it.

It was Christmas time and the father was out of work. Actually, he had been out of work for quite some time.

The cupboard was close to be being bare. They were down to having meat once a week. But it was Christmas time and there it was, a very large box sitting in the middle of a living room sparsely decorated but filled with love.

After Dad read the Christmas story from the book of Luke, he asked each of his three children to stand beside the box because, as he explained, the gift was for everyone and they had to share it. Then, with a smile on his face, he said, “Open it up, little ones.”

Wrapping paper began to fly in all directions, the large red bow ended up on top of a lamp. Finally, they were all looking at a stupendously large refrigerator box.

Inside they found other appliance boxes, and medium-sized boxes that could have held a basketball or football, and shoe boxes, skinny boxes that could have held new shirts, even a couple of flat boxes that could have held board games.

But all the boxes held were other increasingly tinier boxes. Finally they arrived at the smallest box of all. When they opened that box, there it was, a book entitled “Things to Make with Boxes.”

Excitedly they began to read and it was amazing what they found could be made with boxes and a little imagination. Soon they were constructing forts and castles, cars and airplanes, boats and trains, sets and scenery for make believe plays.

And today, when you ask them which Christmas was the best Christmas they ever had, well, you know what their answer is. The father and mother had lovingly created a wonderful memory for their children. Just as easily, those parents could have complained that times were very bad and created a miserable memory.

I have mentioned this story because there is another story I cannot get out of my memory. It is so completely sad and unnecessary that it ever happened.

The man who shared it with me knew his mother loved him, but he could not forget the multitude of mean and thoughtless memories she had given him down through the years.

I remember him saying, “She was a Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Hyde. She could be kind and cruel all in the same day.”

And then what he was sharing was a Christmas day memory and it was not a pretty picture.

He was a young lad, still wearing knickers, and accidentally he tore his new Christmas pants during his Christmas morning wanderings.

When he returned home his mother punished such behavior by making him spend the rest of Christmas day working in the backyard; raking up leaves and twigs and cutting the hedge.

His mother was a Christian woman, taught Sunday school, and I’m sure her own memory factory had to contain copious memories of the Prince of Peace.

But that day did not create a Merry Christmas and a Ho! Ho! Ho memory! Not a peace on earth, good will toward men memory.

Today, if you were to ask him what is the worst Christmas memory he has, that might well top the list. Were there other miserable memories? “Over and over again” were his words, and as he continued to relate other such times he bowed his head and wept.

How to create good memories?

1. Get in the habit of saying “I love you” to your kids and then showing it by your actions.

2. As long as it works, sit down for a short while and you and your little one make up a story each night. It may or may not be great but what counts is that you did it together….THEY WILL NEVER FORGET IT.
 
3. Make a big thing of birthdays.
Hang a shirt outside the door on a tiny flagpole.
 
Put placement cards at the dinner table that announce “This is the great day that (name) was born. Get creative because what you are doing is saying “We are glad you were born. We are glad you are with us.”
 
It is certainly better than those parents who say to a child “I wish you had never been born.”

4. Set up pattern days. Every spring go berry picking. Every Easter have an Easter egg hunt. Think up some more days on your own. Special days have a way of living for a life time.

5. Have a family game night. Old fashion games that have nothing of the electronic madness in them. Go to the Internet for some suggestions. One definite suggestions is perhaps to think about purchasing a book entitled “Old Fashioned Kid’s Games” by Brenda Hyde.

The point of all of this to make some Family Traditions and Rituals that will warm the cockles of your children’s hearts even when they are seventy years removed from being children.

OH YES… to the man who cannot forget that terrible, ruined Christmas Day when he was punished for tearing a pair of pants and all the other cold and callous days I say, “Remember and forgive.”

Not “Forget and forgive.” “Remember and forgive.”

To any of you who have memories of something terrible in your past, “Remember and forgive.” Not “Forget and forgive.” No, “Remember and forgive.”

Oh, you could practice vengeance, people do it all the time. But that is certainly not to be recommended.

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

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