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According to a recent study, young men with high self-esteem shared some common childhood influences. There were three major characteristics of their families. (1) The high-esteem group was clearly more loved and appreciated at home than the low-esteem group. (2) The high-esteem group came from homes where parents had been significantly more strict in their approach to discipline. By contrast, the parents of the low-esteem group had created insecurity and dependence through their permissiveness. Their children were more likely to feel that the rules were not enforced because no one cared enough to get involved. (3) The homes of the high-esteem group were also characterized by democracy and openness. Once the boundaries were established, there was freedom for individual personalities to grow and develop. Thus, the overall atmosphere was marked by acceptance and emotional safety.
When the Middle Ages were alive and well everyone thought of a child as a little adults. “What
is a child?” is not an easy question to answer because it does depend
on the century and the culture in which he or she is being raised.
There was a time when teenage marriages was a common practice. Now college intervenes and the time of marriage is greatly extended. So how old is old anyway.
One thing is sure, wherever the cut off point for adulthood the early years of childhood make the child or break the child. It is why parents need to care a great deal and learn a great deal about child raising rather than just let it happen…because there are certain basics every mother and father should be acquainted with.
Raise your child not to rush toward ignorance. Teach them to fall in love with knowledge and not to court stupidity. And, yes, he or she who does not constantly learn something new is both bored and boring. Indeed, remind them that it is proven fact that is obvious when you are talking with someone who is in love with ignorance. Ask your child if they want everyone, after they have spoken with them for awhile, to consider them bored and boring.
Teach your child to have a little of the shooting star in them rather than be satisfied with being just a flashlight. An enthusiastic child is much more apt to do and be their best. How can it be taught?
First, by not killing it. Parents do that with words such as “Stop asking such stupid questions.” :Shut up and go play outside.” “Act your age.” You are the laziest kid (child) on the face of the earth.”
Second, by showing enthusiasm for your child’s enthusiasms.
And….what’s it like to be a child? We’ve forgotten.
What’s it like to be a parent? A child has no experience.
So try role playing. It may produce laughter, but it may well also produce understanding.
To your child say, “Let’s play a game. For a little while I’m going to be you and you’re going to be me. We’re going to act out scenarios (teach them a new word) about manners, responsibilities and recreation.”
So to get started, perhaps act and sound as he or she does when you remind them to do a chore. Then encourage them to act and sound as you do during the same discussion. And no fair getting your feelings hurt when your child really gets into it and proves a facile mimic.
You may both have a little trouble getting into the spirit of the game. Your imagination may require some mental massaging, but don’t give up on the idea. Most problems arise because we really don’t get into the other person’s frame of mind.
And one final note from an
anonymous wisdom person “If we want our children to keep their feet on
the ground we must be sure we have put sufficient responsibility on
their shoulders.”
QUOTES FROM ABRAHAM LINCOLN BOOK
Stop slavery. Extend slavery. Make it illegal to help slaves to escape. Let each state decide. The Federal government must decide. There were Southerners who had come north to become abolitionists and Northerners who had gone south to become slave owners. It was all a house of mirrors, a series of contradicting solutions. Minds and morals got all mixed up as everyone just got madder and madder.
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