FORGIVENESS IS GOOD FOR THE BOTH OF YOU (3rd in series) DON’T HOLD A GRUDGE AND DON’T LET IT HOLD YOU

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You don’t need me to remind you that there are two sides to every conflict.  But I just did because sometimes it is easy to ignore what you or I did wrong while concentrating so hard on the wrongs on the other side.

There have been numerous studies that prove that people who hold grudges actually die six times faster than those who don’t.  So…you want to give up your chances of living longer? …get some healthier ways of thinking and acting.  Shriveled insides really are bad for your health.

Forgiveness isn’t easy.  There is no doubt it is easier to get mad and stay mad.  We seem to be programmed that way.  “The best defense is an offense”

As children, we acted like children and now that we are adults, we sometimes just keep on acting like children.  And pouting is crowned and becomes King and good, decent Christian behavior receives no crown at all.  But those who cannot, will not, forgive miss one of the greatest joys God has to offer.

I love the way a man named William Arthur Ward defines this holy emotion, “We are most like beasts when we kill.  We are most like men when we judge.  We are most like God when we forgive.”

Think about this: When you forgive another human being, you re-create him.  You forgive the bad in him and look for the good in him.  You see him or her in a different light.  And the amazing thing is, both of you now live in more light than darkness.  That’s the way the human psyche works.

Do you have an enemy you would like to destroy?  Then forgive him.  Make a friend of him, at least from your side of the fence.

Do you have someone you have been unforgiving toward for years?  Think of them and you can taste the bile in your throat?  Boy, you sure are showing them, aren’t you?

You are having trouble forgiving someone…then go through the motions anyway.  Shake their hands…smile at them…do everything you would do if you had actually forgiven them.  In short, act like you have forgiven them and then perhaps one day it may no longer be acting.

Why do I continue to WRITE so often about forgiveness?  Because it is so important. It was so important to Christ that it was the last request He made of his Father.

Things were pretty brutal for Christ at the end.  He had been lied about and beaten and forced to carry His own cross along a rocky path to Golgotha.  And though He had preached love for nearly three years, He could feel the hate around Him like a living thing.  They had pounded nails through his hands and feet and thrust a spear into his side and spat on him…yet His response to all this was, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

With that thought in mind, let me share with you a few things we actually do when we forgive one of our fellow human beings.

           

We free ourselves from two bugaboos: being judgmental and condemnatory.

 

If we don’t forgive, we go into full negative thinking mode; we start keeping track of what this person is doing, or not doing, so we can have more ammunition for not forgiving them.  How does that Proverb go, “Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

And, if we take our forgiveness one step higher and love our enemies, as Christ told us to do, it frees us from carrying all that bitterness mixed with anger around in our back pocket. 

I also understand that the someone you can’t forgive might be that person on the other side of your front door: husband, wife, children, in-laws; all squaring off, protecting their “space.”

So, in closing, let me offer give some suggestions on how to begin accomplishing the IMPOSSIBLE.

1. Greet your enemy with a smile rather than a snarl.  A snarl may more rightly fit your mood but we aren’t talking about mood, we’re talking about actions.

2. Treat them with respect.  That’s right…if you go through the motions…the

Emotions may well follow from behind.  And who knows, your enemy may follow your lead and began to forgive you.  Don’t hold your breath, but it does happen more times than you might imagine.

3. Refuse to say mean and thoughtless things about your enemy.  The temptation is always there…to explain to a friend how badly you have been hurt and what that other person did.  Ruin their reputation.  They deserve it.  No…you deserve to be better than that.

4. Here are three final thoughts that, at first hearing you may find difficult to consider, but listen well for there is the hint of heaven in them.. 

 

Thank God for your enemy.

What credit do you gain when you’re nice to nice people?  That’s easy. But if you can learn to be nice to your enemies, then you will give yourself the opportunity to grow emotionally and spiritually.  So love your enemies.  That’s right.  No pain.  No gain.

 

Pray for them. 

“May they rot in hell.”  That prayer has been prayed many times, but surely you’re better than that, aren’t you?  And besides, from your angry point of view …is there anyone who needs praying for more than your enemy?

 

Ask God to bless them. 

Anything less just proves that though you know the Christian tune, you just haven’t learned how to sing it. 

Posted Saturday, 2^nd. in Series on TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS;LOVE AND FORGIVENESS

Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Wyrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS.WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING

 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING URL

 

http://wyrickswritings.blogspot.com

 

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A  Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9^TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”

         

     To mention Christianity today is to create a firestorm of complaint.  “We must assure separation of church and state” is the politically correct outcry.  Unfortunately, most who are straining their vocal chords, have not strained any intellectual efforts to research how the original quote actually reads. 

 

When Thomas Jefferson dipped his pen and began to put down his thoughts, he wrote, “a wall of separation between Church and State.”  Even more interesting is the reason why it was written.  A group of less than joyous Baptists in Connecticut did not want to have their denomination play second fiddle to the Congregationalists.  The Congregationalists?  They would have been perfectly willing to be top dog as the state’s choice.  Episcopalians in Virginia were no less reluctant to create the same problem, if given half a chance.  Thomas Jefferson stuck by his guns in this state, as well.

Visit Magnus Press to order this book or some of their other unusual and inspiring books.

 

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DO YOU HAVE A SUBJECT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE NEIL WRITE ON; EXAMPLES: COURAGE, LOVE, DETERMINATION, ETC.  JUST GO TO THE BOTTOM AND CLICK ON COMMENT AND SEND US YOUR IDEA.

To view his One Man Dramas on film (see by millions, live and on film and on video)(Martin Luther, Ben Franklin, Charles Wesley, Abraham Lincoln)

 

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             ********************************

To access info his other book’s and get some great used book prices, go to Amazon.com (books) and type in Neil Wyrick.

 BOUNDARIES UNLIMITED, RUST ON MY SOUL, POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC, I AM SIXTY PLUS AND NOT HOLDING, THE ABC’S OF PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING, LETTERS TO AMERICA…

         

V. Neil Wyrick’s ninth book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN and is available at MAGNUS PRESS. (For some unusual books visit their Web Site)

THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM’S Kindle

To visit their Web Page click on the URL below

http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html 

 

FORGIVENESS IS GOOD FOR THE BOTH OF YOU (2nd in series)

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND THIS BLOG TO A FRIEND GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS BLOG AND CLICK ON THE ENVELOPE.

There are over 600 stories and commentaries on this blog. It is added to daily.

 

A motorcycle policeman was in a bad wreck.  He broke his left leg and his right arm.  When he awoke after surgery he found the two casts in their proper places.

Then he looked down and saw a large bandage on his hairy chest.  The kind that would be oh so painful to remove.  Attached to the bandage was a note from his nurse, “A gift from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”

Some people don’t just carry a grudge around, they keep giving it as a gift over and over again.

            Letting go of a perceived wrong, or of a real one, can be hard.  For some, it is nigh unto impossible.  They have a constant burn on and they don’t look very hard for a hose of forgiveness to put the fire out. 

Some people never have seen an apology they were willing to give or to accept.

 

They nurse their hurts as if they were a babe in arms.  If you ask them when they will forgive the person who has hurt them, and if they are honest, they will tell you NEVER.  If asked, “Does that mean you are going to hold that grudge forever?”  Their answer might well be, “Well, when I get to the pearly gates…I guess I’ll have to forgive them…but it won’t be easy.”

I know, they (and some places in these thoughts, they is you and me)…they would deny this, but I think they worship a selective Christ.

They love the gentle, loving Christ.

They love that He who is a healer of bodies and souls.

 

They love the promise of eternal life beyond the door of death. But when they come face to face with His commandment to forgive – and not just once, but seven times seventy, some Bible translations even spell it out - 490 times - it sticks in their throat and they just can’t or won’t do it.

That teaching, that example Jesus gave us during His life here on earth… to forgive, they erase that right out of the mix, right out of the picture.  It just doesn’t fit what they are willing to do…so they ignore it…and they don’t do it.

And have you ever noticed that people who don’t forgive quite often become like the people they refuse to forgive?  It’s a strange phenomenon, but sometimes spending so much time and energy engrossed in the faults of another, those faults have become part of their own personality.

TO BE CONTINUED 

 

Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Whrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS.WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING

 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING URL

 

http://wyrickswritings.blogspot.com

 

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A  Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9^TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”

          Do you know that five hundred and fifty-five feet above the ground, there sits on top of the Washington Monument an aluminum cap upon which is etched the phrase Laus Deo?  What difference does it make? From this lofty height overlooking sixty-nine square miles of the District of Columbia, it sends out the message Praise be to God.  Would you prefer to change the writings on the 12^th landing of its 898 monument steps, a prayer offered by the City of Baltimore?  What of the memorial on the 20^th step presented by Chinese Christians?  No one argued against having Proverbs 10:7, Luke 18:16 and Proverbs 22:6 being engraved on the 24^th.  School children from New York and Philadelphia had suggested this and it was accepted as a splendid idea.  Is there any significance that when the cornerstone was laid in 1848 a Holy Bible was put there by the Bible Society?  There could, of course, have been a book on atheism or no religious book at all, but not if the leaders at that time had not truly believed that this was a “nation under God.”

 

Our 16^th president built on such cornerstones, as well as the personal cornerstones of men such as George Washington who wrote, “It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor.”⁵  Then there was Thomas Jefferson who, before he was Chief Executive, made sure God was part of the Declaration of Independence.  His request was unanimously accepted on July 4, 1776.  Yet another of the Founding Fathers, still to be Commander-in-Chief, John Adams, wrote, “Statesmen may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand.”⁶

Visit Magnus Press to order this book or some of their other unusual and inspiring books.

 

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DO YOU HAVE A SUBJECT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE NEIL WRITE ON; EXAMPLES: COURAGE, LOVE, DETERMINATION, ETC.  JUST GO TO THE BOTTOM AND CLICK ON COMMENT AND SEND US YOUR IDEA.

To view his One Man Dramas on film (see by millions, live and on film and on video)(Martin Luther, Ben Franklin, Charles Wesley, Abraham Lincoln)

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING

 

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********************************

To access info his other book’s and get some great used book prices, go to Amazon.com (books) and type in Neil Wyrick.

 BOUNDARIES UNLIMITED, RUST ON MY SOUL, POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC, I AM SIXTY PLUS AND NOT HOLDING, THE ABC’S OF PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING, LETTERS TO AMERICA…

         

V. Neil Wyrick’s ninth book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN and is available at MAGNUS PRESS. (For some unusual books visit their Web Site)

THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM’S Kindle

To visit their Web Page click on the URL below

http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html 

 

FORGIVENESS IS GOOD FOR THE BOTH OF YOU

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND THIS BLOG TO A FRIEND GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS BLOG AND CLICK ON THE ENVELOPE.

There are over 600 stories and commentaries on this blog. It is added to daily.

 

I think I’m safe in saying that at some point just about everyone has had an up close and personal encounter with a grudge.  Unfortunately some seem to collect and hold on to hurts as if their life depended on it. 

So let’s stop and look at these sour grapes everyone has picked off the complaining vine and more than once.  Look at the harvest of hurts we all have stored away and consider the results when we have not been able to get them out of our system.

The couple had been married for 15 years and lately their disagreements were beginning to multiply.  But they wanted to find in their marriage what once they had had, so they both agreed to work at it.  And as a way of doing this they made a rule that at the end of each day they would write down something that was irritating them, driving them up the wall, however you want to put it, and drop the piece of paper into a fault box.

 

The wife was diligent in her efforts.  The first day she dropped in a note that read, “Left the top off the jar of jelly.”  The next day her note complained, “Left dirty socks on the floor - again.”  On the third day she wrote down two more complaints.  She continued in this vein for the next four days.

At the end of the week, they emptied their boxes and examined the contents.

The husband looked troubled as he read her notes, but nodded his head in agreement that these were indeed faults he needed to work on.

When the wife read his notes she found that he hadn’t played by the rules.  On each of the seven sheets of paper were just three words, “I love you.” 

As you might expect, this only made her madder.  And so she turned and shouted at her husband.  “You’re not playing by the rules. 

Don’t you understand that when you are upset you are supposed to say mean and spiteful things? 

 And say them more than once as a way of proving you are right.  

And then you’re supposed to stay mad long enough to make sure the other person knows he’s wrong.  If you don’t play by the rules, husband dear, how are we ever going to get along better?”

Does this sort of logic leave you shaking your head? 

Maybe leave you thinking perhaps you’ve wandered into the story of Alice in Wonderland?  Yet, in spite of its lack of logic that is really how many people act. 

They would love to have more peace and harmony in their relationships, yet continue to follow the wrong paths to achieve that goal. 

They have heard and maybe even read the Sermon on the Mount but fail to apply Christ’s message about forgiveness to themselves. 

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW…

Posted yesterday, 2^nd in Series on TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS;LOVE AND FORGIVENESS

Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Whrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS.WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING

 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING URL

 

http://wyrickswritings.blogspot.com

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

A  Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9^TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”

How spiritual was Abraham Lincoln?  Well, look at how often he worked God into both his conversations and speeches.  He was not the only President to mention prayers to the Almighty on a regular basis, but what is important is how comfortable he seemed in doing it.  A single reminder of an isolated spiritual moment would make it impossible to build a case for spirituality.  With Lincoln this is never a problem, for this giant of a man had a giant on-going sense of soul equal to his physical presence.

Visit Magnus Press to order this book or some of their other unusual and inspiring books.

 

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http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html 

 

 

DO YOU HAVE A SUBJECT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE NEIL WRITE ON; EXAMPLES: COURAGE, LOVE, DETERMINATION, ETC.  JUST GO TO THE BOTTOM AND CLICK ON COMMENT AND SEND US YOUR IDEA.

To view his One Man Dramas on film (see by millions, live and on film and on video)(Martin Luther, Ben Franklin, Charles Wesley, Abraham Lincoln)

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING

 

http://www.speakerneil.com/

********************************

To access info his other book’s and get some great used book prices, go to Amazon.com (books) and type in Neil Wyrick.

 BOUNDARIES UNLIMITED, RUST ON MY SOUL, POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC, I AM SIXTY PLUS AND NOT HOLDING, THE ABC’S OF PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING, LETTERS TO AMERICA…

         

V. Neil Wyrick’s ninth book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN and is available at MAGNUS PRESS. (For some unusual books visit their Web Site)

THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM’S Kindle

To visit their Web Page click on the URL below

http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html 

 

 

          “I invite the people of the United States… to invoke the influence of His Holy Spirit…”³  It is well to remember that the man behind this national proclamation also wrote that he had a solemn oath registered in heaven to finish his work.  But why not?  This, after all, was a man who at Gettysburg, with Generals and other men of good    

counsel all around, still fell to his knees in prayer, and thereby, found “sweet comfort” ⁴  creeping into his soul.

A secular humanist will be less than happy with these observations because it reminds us that Abraham Lincoln was a man of moral absolutes.  That he knew the difference between right and wrong and agonized over them.  Anyone who has a love affair with anarchy has to be unhappy with a president who did not believe that if it feels good then it must be okay.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

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There are over700 stories and commentaries on this blog. It is added to daily.

            I wish there weren’t difficult people.  I wish I weren’t allergic to the emotional toxins they spread.  I wish they didn’t sometimes make my mind go in circles and my stomach go to ulcers.

            Maybe if I had the patience of Job and the Wisdom of Solomon, I wouldn’t be irritated.  But since I live in the river of life I must learn to make friends with the crocodiles. I must seek to make rainbows in the midst of other people’s thunder.

            “It isn’t always what you must do but it is always what you must become,” a wise old minister once said to me, “Compassion is an empathetic brief exchange of souls.”

            Early in my ministry when I would be confronted by a difficult person I would immediately ask myself, “When was the last time you were difficult to deal with?” 

           When I had gotten that tone in my voice or that look on my face.  Then I would remind myself that when people irritated me I too could show it.  Or as a ministerial friend cautioned me early in my ministry, “Neil, we ministers can be patiently judgmental and that can be as bad or worse than a vocal eruption.”

            Whether a minister or lay person, DF’s (Difficult People) come in all kinds of emotional shapes and sizes.  Most are sprinters, not marathon runners so wait them out until they run out of fuel.  “Build on resolve and not regret,” cautioned the late Adlai Stevenson.  Some blame and bluster at the top of their lungs.  Some sneer softly and drop sarcasm.  Others seem innocuous in their complaints but beneath lies a seething anger.’ 

            The beginning of a solution? I long ago learned that questions rather than direct statements can smooth the edges of any debate or argument.  “Would you please explain?” got the same answer as an argumentative reaction; it just wasn’t as heated.

            I have also noted down through the years initiating dialogue can show concern and gain insight.  “John, it seems we have been at odds recently.”  The implication is that things have been better in the past.  Sometimes, this is a stretch but a worthy one.  “Is it something I did?  Something I said?”  Then speak of “stumbling blocks” a phrase that has a better connotation than “problem” “trouble” “difficulty” “disagreement.” 

            If verbal dialogue doesn’t seem appropriate or one is uncomfortable with this approach, a written note helps.  “Dear John/Jane, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said and you have a number of good points (praise).  However, I wonder if you’ve considered my idea.  As your friend (positive affirmation) I need your friendship and our ability to be able to agree to sometimes disagree.” 

            It is impossible to receive a positive response from everyone.  Some people really are permanent DF’s   Still, when friendship is hopeless, friendliness is not.

            A sense of humor helps.  “Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come,” counsels the ancient Chinese proverb.  Overcome negative feelings toward the DF’s of the world with the wisdom of wit.  Even if you do not always find spring, it will help you to withstand the winter of their discontent.

            The next time someone is giving you a hard time, wherever for whatever reason, try the following experiment.  “Visualize a large bucket of love.  In your mind’s eye, pick up that bucket, walk over and slowly pour its entire contents over his head.  Then imagine the liquid love dripping down and forming puddles at his or her feet.  The ludicrousness of the situation will work like a healing balm and may save you from making a fool of yourself.  After all, one fool in a room is already one too many.

            As I grow older and my experience deepens I have become more and more convinced that a closed mouth gather no foot.  That is, having less to say gives less change for one’s foot to enter one’s mouth.  In short, soothe problems rather than stir them.

            I long ago came to a conclusion I wish were not true, all rumbles cannot be quieted.  But, I also have learned that when there is a problem I should not try to be another one.

Posted today, 2^nd. in Series on TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS;LOVE AND FORGIVENESS

Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Whrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS.WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING

 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING URL

 

http://wyrickswritings.blogspot.com

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

A  Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9^TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”

When a president continues to think and speak this way, often commenting on sin and mercy more like a preacher than a politician it is worth taking a second look.  When he called out for, “with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right,” ² he did not just show humility.  Rather he asked for a national self-examination and that God might be at the center of such evaluation. 

 

Why concern ourselves with spirituality as against the equivalent of a political science degree?  What real difference does it make that Christianity needs to be up front and center in the lives of our leaders?  Because the very freedoms and style of living we enjoy come as gifts from Christianity. 

 

Before Christ walked this earth and set up a new standard of humanity, life in the Greco-Roman world was cheap and expendable.  Killing of infants was readily accepted.  Child abandonment was commonplace.  Abortions and suicides were widespread and legal.  Its corrupt belief system became the mother of chaos.  It is, therefore, little wonder Rome fell.  And America can fall just as easily if it forgets that religion can survive without freedom, but freedom cannot long survive without religion.

Visit Magnus Press to order this book or some of their other unusual and inspiring books.

 

CLICK ON THE URL BELOW

http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html 

DO YOU HAVE A SUBJECT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE NEIL WRITE ON; EXAMPLES: COURAGE, LOVE, DETERMINATION, ETC.  JUST GO TO THE BOTTOM AND CLICK ON COMMENT AND SEND US YOUR IDEA.

To view his One Man Dramas on film (see by millions, live and on film and on video)(Martin Luther, Ben Franklin, Charles Wesley, Abraham Lincoln)

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING

 

http://www.speakerneil.com/

********************************

To access info his other book’s and get some great used book prices, go to Amazon.com (books) and type in Neil Wyrick.

 BOUNDARIES UNLIMITED, RUST ON MY SOUL, POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC, I AM SIXTY PLUS AND NOT HOLDING, THE ABC’S OF PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING, LETTERS TO AMERICA…

         

V. Neil Wyrick’s ninth book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN and is available at MAGNUS PRESS. (For some unusual books visit their Web Site)

THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM’S Kindle

To visit their Web Page click on the URL below

http://www.magnuspress.com/OurProducts2.html