Saturday, March 28, 2015

More Thoughts on HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

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             Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not resolve. So they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage’s home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, "You’re absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, "You’re absolutely right." Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband. "Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That’s impossible—they can’t both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You’re absolutely right."

            Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
- Paul W. Powell  

       If you go back to the OT you find just as much conflict among the people of God as in the New Testament.

       In fact, during the wilderness wanderings the Israelites perfected conflict to a degree probably
never observed before or since.

       Bottom line...we human beings need help when it comes to getting along together...and that is where the commandments and Christ teachings and common sense and above all the power of the Holy Spirit comes in...

       So let's start with common sense...because if we are in the midst of angry conflict we unfortunately are not to inclined to be try to work things out with our fellowman...


Therefore...the next time you are in the middle of a heated conflict...having failed to control yourself...

Honestly express your differences while suppressing your emotions.  And restrain yourself from any colorful language.  In short, not only don't start the flame...don't fan it.

Focus on the problem, not the person. 
 
Search for a solution rather than someone to blame.

Don't get a superior tone in your voice.

If you are at least part of the problem, admit it.


When problems arise, don't walk out on the problem work them out.
 

Listen more than you talk.   The more we talk the more all of us are inclined to stick our feet in our mouth.

Discuss a problem in a spirit of forgiveness...don't stubbornly demand guarantees.

 

In Genesis 13:8 Abram says to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren."


And I say to you in a 21st century version, If there is strife between you and any other member or members (in your church), let there be no strife between you, for your are brothers and sisters in Christ...you are indeed...brethren."

Just remember... "Coping with difficult people is always a problem. Especially if the difficult person happens to be yourself." (John Maxwell)
 

May I ask you a question?  How many people get up every morning and make out a list of what they are going to do to hurt you, how many ways they are going to find to disagree with you...


I hope there are none...few of us have more than one hard core antagonist lurking behind every bush...fact is...most of us have no hard core antagonist who are out to get us on a regular basis.


Most conflict arises because someone is out of sorts...and we were at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong idea emanating from our lips.


So cool it...wait it out...most conflicts will die a natural death if we give them half a chance...
 

It's called Neutral conflict: that which is generated by differences in perspective and personality.


And if obviously you have a serious difference...learn to live with it...WITH PATIENCE AND CHRISTIAN CHARITY.

People see things differently.

They have different visions, goals, methodology,

interests. One is left-brained and analyzes things to death. The other is right-brained and feels everything deeply.
 
So cool it...give that other individual the right to see things differently than you do...unless there different opinion really is going to rent the world in two.
 
Let me read to you James 4:1-3

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires
that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
 

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A QUOTE FROM THOUGHTS POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING ENTITLED "How To Deal with Conflicts"

       A rather crude and cruel experiment was carried out by Emperor Frederick, who ruled the Roman Empire in the thirteenth century.

       He wanted to know what man’s original language was: Hebrew, Greek, or Latin? He decided to isolate a few infants from the sound of the human voice.

       He reasoned that they would eventually speak the natural tongue of man.

       Wet nurses who were sworn to absolute silence were obtained, and though it was difficult for them, they abided by the rule.

       The infants never heard a word -- not a sound from a human voice. Within several months they were all dead.



      POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THOUGHTS ENTITLED "Are You a Peacemaker or Peacebreaker?" (Continuation of Series)

 Proverbs 14:17 gives a pretty good reason to be a Peacemaker rather than Peacebreaker … "A quick-tempered man does foolish things."  And who wants to be called an angry fool?

With such careless ease we say, “I lost my temper.”  But have you ever stopped to think of the implications behind that phrase.  Lose it often enough and the results can be disastrous; for that is the way people lose their spouses and jobs and health and opportunities and...the list is long.

      POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THOUGHTS ENTITLED "Arrogance and Humility' (Series Continued)

          If you were asked, "What is the most important discovery or accomplishment in your life? " how would you answer the question?



POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THOUGHTS ENTITLED "What Do You Want from Jesus?"

Do you want from Jesus all the joy that can be gained from fully accepting the fact that you are truly the child of a King?  So that when you die you will not have to ask that someone write on your tombstone, “Born a human being, died a question mark.”

        POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THOUGHTS ENTITLED "Are you a Peacemaker or a Peacebreaker?"

                 Someone has said that peace is merely that brief, glorious, moment in history when everyone stops to reload their weapons.



POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THOUGHTS ENTITLED ""Arrogance and Humility

       When a company takes over another company, there is often a sign placed outside the premises announcing, UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.

Such a sign accurately summarizes what takes place in Christian conversions.  When Christ takes over a life, that life is literally under new management.

       So consider, is God now managing your pride?  Or is your pride still managing you? 

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                Yes, God loves you the way you are but he loves you too much to let you stay that way.

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THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN


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      QUOTES ABOUT THIS WONDERFUL INSPIRING INFORMATIVE book

      STILL RECEIVING RAVE REVIEWS 8 YEARS AFTER IT'S PUBLICATION.

        "Positive, powerful utterances...skillfully enhancing our understanding and appreciation of Lincoln while revealing the Divine source of his strength."

        Lt. Colonel C.A. Olsen (Ret.) Asbury College (Professor Ret.)

        "The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln is an extremely well written book that investigates what might be termed the spiritual side of President Lincoln. It's both scholarly and very readable. I came away impressed at Mr. Wyrick's portrayal of the President and with an altered and enlarged vision of the man:'

        William Hoffman, Award winning fiction writer; author of Blood and Guile, and Wild Thorn
 

        "Wyrick has authored a wonderful examination of the spirituality of one of American history's most devoutly religious leaders...a pleasant and readable book that has a rich depth of information."

                 Maynard Pittendreigh Presbyterian minister
 

        "When it comes to invoking religion in support of any of their decisions, politicians need to sit at the feet of Abraham Lincoln. Reinhold Niebuhr once called him 'America's greatest theologian.' Why so great? Because he invariably distinguished between human works and the works of the Almighty. As Wyrick says, 'He wore the mantle of humility easily: because he was more impressed with what God was doing in the world than with what he, president of the United States in the midst of an awful crisis, was doing. That is why in his last major speech he distinguished between both human causes in the Civil War and the Almighty's 'own purposes.' Lincoln would have agreed that it is better to leave God-talk out of politics than to decorate human proposals with divinity. This is a book for our American time. Through his careful study of Lincoln's career, Wyrick compels us to remember that piety belongs in politics only when piety transcends politics."

       Dr. Donald W. Shriver

       Emeritus professor at Union Theological Seminary in New York. Author of An Ethic for Enemies: Forgiveness in Politics
 

        "v. Neil Wyrick's fine work allows the reader to appreciate Abraham Lincoln's Christian commitment and his prophetic role in American history. Should have a wide readership."

       James H. Smylie Professor of Church History (Ret.) Union Theological Seminary, Richmond, Virginia


       "Neil Wyrick's The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln should be read by anyone attempting to understand the man who was probably the most complex person to ever hold the office of president of the United States. Dr. Wyrick is intent on demonstrating that the spirituality so often expressed in Lincoln's writings and speeches was not merely lip service to a Deity, but rather expressions of a profound faith in a real God. It was this faith that provided the wisdom, compassion, insight and sometimes steel that Lincoln would need in full measure as he led the United States through the Civil War. Dr. Wyrick's clear and unpretentious style of presentation is very much in keeping with the character ofhis subject, and in so doing, Wyrick makes his point very well that Lincoln, his beliefs, and the faith that formed them, are as relevant to a troubled America in 2004 as they were in 1863."

       Daniel Allen Butler, author of "Unsinkable"; The Full Story of the RMS Titanic, The Lusitania and The Age o f Cunard

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