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You don’t need me to remind you that there are two sides to every conflict. But I just did because sometimes it is easy to ignore what you or I did wrong while concentrating so hard on the wrongs on the other side.
There have been numerous studies that prove that people who hold grudges actually die six times faster than those who don’t. So…you want to give up your chances of living longer? …get some healthier ways of thinking and acting. Shriveled insides really are bad for your health.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. There is no doubt it is easier to get mad and stay mad. We seem to be programmed that way. “The best defense is an offense”
As children, we acted like children and now that we are adults, we sometimes just keep on acting like children. And pouting is crowned and becomes King and good, decent Christian behavior receives no crown at all. But those who cannot, will not, forgive miss one of the greatest joys God has to offer.
I love the way a man named William Arthur Ward defines this holy emotion, “We are most like beasts when we kill. We are most like men when we judge. We are most like God when we forgive. ”
Think about this: When you forgive another human being, you re-create him. You forgive the bad in him and look for the good in him. You see him or her in a different light. And the amazing thing is, both of you now live in more light than darkness. That’s the way the human psyche works.
Do you have an enemy you would like to destroy? Then forgive him. Make a friend of him, at least from your side of the fence.
Do you have someone you have been unforgiving toward for years? Think of them and you can taste the bile in your throat? Boy, you sure are showing them, aren’t you?
You are having trouble forgiving someone…then go through the motions anyway. Shake their hands…smile at them…do everything you would do if you had actually forgiven them. In short, act like you have forgiven them and then perhaps one day it may no longer be acting.
Why do I continue to WRITE so often about forgiveness? Because it is so important. It was so important to Christ that it was the last request He made of his Father.
Things were pretty brutal for Christ at the end. He had been lied about and beaten and forced to carry His own cross along a rocky path to Golgotha . And though He had preached love for nearly three years, He could feel the hate around Him like a living thing. They had pounded nails through his hands and feet and thrust a spear into his side and spat on him…yet His response to all this was, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. ”
With that thought in mind, let me share with you a few things we actually do when we forgive one of our fellow human beings.
We free ourselves from two bugaboos: being judgmental and condemnatory.
If we don’t forgive, we go into full negative thinking mode; we start keeping track of what this person is doing, or not doing, so we can have more ammunition for not forgiving them. How does that Proverb go, “Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. ”
And, if we take our forgiveness one step higher and love our enemies, as Christ told us to do, it frees us from carrying all that bitterness mixed with anger around in our back pocket.
I also understand that the someone you can’t forgive might be that person on the other side of your front door: husband, wife, children, in-laws; all squaring off, protecting their “space. ”
So, in closing, let me offer give some suggestions on how to begin accomplishing the IMPOSSIBLE.
- Greet your enemy with a smile rather than a snarl
. A snarl may more rightly fit your mood but we aren’t talking about mood, we’re talking about actions.
- Treat them with respect
. That’s right…if you go through the motions…the
Emotions may well follow from behind. And who knows, your enemy may follow your lead and began to forgive you. Don’t hold your breath, but it does happen more times than you might imagine.
- Refuse to say mean and thoughtless things about your enemy
. The temptation is always there…to explain to a friend how badly you have been hurt and what that other person did. Ruin their reputation. They deserve it. No…you deserve to be better than that.
- Here are three final thoughts that, at first hearing you may find difficult to consider, but listen well for there is the hint of heaven in them
. .
Thank God for your enemy.
What credit do you gain when you’re nice to nice people? That’s easy. But if you can learn to be nice to your enemies, then you will give yourself the opportunity to grow emotionally and spiritually. So love your enemies. That’s right. No pain. No gain.
Pray for them.
“May they rot in hell. ” That prayer has been prayed many times, but surely you’re better than that, aren’t you? And besides, from your angry point of view …is there anyone who needs praying for more than your enemy?
Ask God to bless them.
Anything less just proves that though you know the Christian tune, you just haven’t learned how to sing it.
Posted Saturday, 2nd. in Series on TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS;LOVE AND FORGIVENESS
Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Whrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS. WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING
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A Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”
To mention Christianity today is to create a firestorm of complaint. “We must assure separation of church and state” is the politically correct outcry. Unfortunately, most who are straining their vocal chords, have not strained any intellectual efforts to research how the original quote actually reads.
When Thomas Jefferson dipped his pen and began to put down his thoughts, he wrote, “a wall of separation between Church and State. ” Even more interesting is the reason why it was written. A group of less than joyous Baptists in Connecticut . The Congregationalists? They would have been perfectly willing to be top dog as the state’s choice. Episcopalians in Virginia . Thomas Jefferson stuck by his guns in this state, as well.
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