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"Are you a pillar of the church?"
"No, I'm a flying buttress—I support it from the outside. "
During twenty years in the pastorate ministry and over thirty years as an evangelist I early concluded that driving people away from church is much easier than leading them to it. I therefore, with tongue in cheek, suggest the following as sure fire techniques for accomplishing these less than productive methods. .
NEVER ASK THEM TO COME IN THE FIRST PLACE. This is rule number one and it is literally worth its weight in gold. If the rule seems too severe in its initial application, procrastination may be practiced by simply stating, “I must ask them to come to church with me sometime, just not right now. ” This will salve a conscience and allow sleep to knit the raveled sleeve of care.
IF THEY COME IGNORE THEM. Sit by them but do not speak. Sing by them but do not offer them a hymn book. When the service is over, turn your back on them and engage in a lively conversation with a church member of long standing. If they are in line waiting to meet the minister, take a particularly long time in conversing with your pastor. They may quite probably grow weary of waiting and leave by the side door.
IF YOU DO SPEAK, COMPLAIN. If you are by nature a gregarious individual and must speak do not speak kindly of the church or anyone in it. Complain of the minister’s vices and speak not at all of his virtues. Tell of the trouble in the choir. Be sure and mention the women’s group is a clique (unless of course, you are a member of said group) and that you wouldn’t go if they paid you. The list of things easy to complain about in all churches is long, so just pick and choose. You will be gratified beyond words with the results.
LEAVE BAD IMPRESSIONS. Be unkind, rude and course, be filled with malicious gossip and be ready at a moment to share it, etc. There is nothing quite so powerful in building up the non-church-attending forces of our land as Christians who don’t act like it. Be sure you elicit spontaneous comment from someone each day to the effect, “If he’s a Christian, I’m not interested. ”
NEVER OR SELDOMK PRAY. Act As if hou believe that man can achieve the church’s success by his own hands and needs no help from God. Follow the philosophy, “Heaven for heaven, earth for earth, you know” or “I am the captain of my soul. I am the master of my fate. ”
REFUSE TO WORK IN THE CHURCH. Every church needs workers and if enough members refuse to participate the inefficiency of the church program is assured. There will, of course, be certain things which cannot be done for lack of cooperation, and some other things under-manned which will not be done very well or if enough people refuse to help, not at all. This rule will also assure a good bit of doubling-up and even double doubling-up on jobs. This latter effect gives an excellent opportunity to complain that the church is run by a few people.
LEARN THE CLASSIC CLICHES AND SPREAD THEM FAR AND WIDE. A few samples should stimulate any reader of these thoughts to find or invent others.
- God doesn’t expect you to be in church every time the door opens
. ” - “You can’t love everyone; God certainly understands that…”
- “It’s the preacher’s job to go out and get new members
. That’s what we pay him for.
There are others but these should do well for a starter.
BE NARROW MINDED. Gasp audibly when someone new at acquiring faith asks what seems a strange questions. Have no patience with anyone’s ideas concerning the church, it policies or programs if they do not agree with you 100%.
GIVE LITTLE. Excuse yourself and ease your conscience by such statements as “I have my family to think of” or “There are others who give more and some day I may give more too, just not now. ” These and any other such excuses, reasons, etc. followed to the letter by enough of any congregation can guarantee a poor program, an ill-paid preacher, a building in need of repair, a lack of necessary supplies, etc. There is no end to the destructive results of a philosophy dedicated to holding back on giving to one’s church.
FIND FAULT WITH THE PREACHER. This is a drastic but it produces such excellent results that it cannot go unmentioned. In every church there are those who love their preachers, others who are lukewarm, and others who need but a spark to spring them into a fire of righteous indignation. A little black book or an excellent memory or even better, an overactive imagination can in a very short time produce a list of charges and complaints that corrupt and disrupt. Since the preacher is human it may easily be remembered that once he lost his temper with Mr. Brown, that once he failed to call on Mrs. Jones, that once he…oh well, the skies the limit. This rule will divide the congregation into units of “pro” and “con. ” It will disgust new and old Christians alike. It will slow any plans for progress and send a spirit of unease throughout all the church.
These rules are not original. They are merely observations made after over fifty years in the ministry. They are a sharing from personal pastoral experience and of having talked to thousands of ministers in my evangelistic travels. The said thing is that all of these attitudes and actions continue to be perpetuated by basically good people who give into bad moments. Unfortunately, in some cases, these kind of attitudes and actions become life long habits.
Some recent topic titles on his other blog, Whrick’s Writings are:ONE LOG ON A FIRE, TWO JOLLY GREEN GIANTS; LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, WISDOM IS. WHAT IS HAPPY,60 PLUS AND NOT HOLDING
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A Quote FROM Rev. Wyrick’s 9TH BOOK “THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN”
Everything that happened in the war was not of blood and pain and hate. The best in man sometimes rises out of the worst. More than likely the story of what happened
one cold day during the terrible battle of Fredricksburg reached Abe’s ears and pleased the heart of this forgiving President. It was a dreadful battle that cried out for some miraculous act of empathy.
A Sergeant Richard Kirkland of Company E Carolina Regiment made a request of his commanding officer that was almost denied. He had looked too long at the tortured, twisted dead and dying men and could finally stand it no more. He sought startling permission to take water and aid to those dressed in both Blue and Gray.
“You may get a bullet in the back of your head, son,” he was told. The soldier replied that he wanted to go anyway.
“May God protect you,” said Major General J. B. Kershaw. A short time later, men on both sides of this field of agony and despair, watched in awe as the young man vaulted over a bloodstained stonewall and walked unarmed and seemingly unafraid among the dead and dying. They saw him kneel down and cradle a fallen Union soldier in his arms, offer him a drink of water, rest his head on his knapsack and cover him with his own overcoat. And then move to another soldier nearby. This time it was a Confederate soldier.
Again and again throughout that long, pale December afternoon, just eleven days before Christmas, Sergeant Kirkland returned with water until every living soldier, from both the North and the South, had felt his compassion and concern.
General Kershaw later wrote that not one shot was fired during that time. That never had he heard such silent respect. “…no doubt,” his pen etched, “all the trumpets of heaven resounded on this monumental day. ”
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BOUNDARIES UNLIMITED, RUST ON MY SOUL, POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC, I AM SIXTY PLUS AND NOT HOLDING, THE ABC’S OF PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING, LETTERS TO AMERICA
V. Neil Wyrick’s ninth book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN and is available at MAGNUS PRESS. (For some unusual books visit their Web Site)
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