Saturday, September 1, 2012

HOW TO HAVE A BETTER MARRIAGE (for everyone to read unless you are perfect)

These One A Days are added to daily.  A thank you to all of you who have gone back and read all of the posts since the beginning.
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       There are over 1100 stories and commentaries on this blog that began Nov 24, 2009. It is added to daily.
Click on http://wyrickswritings.blogspot.com to read selected Sermons from over 50 years of Rev. Wyrick's ministry.

       I was watching TV and a nun was speaking of hugging the homeless and how much it meant to these lonely men.

       And I thought of how much it can mean to a man and wife if they share with each other "a hug a day."  I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about the "hugless" of the world.

       I'm talking about this expression of concern without even a word.  Not a long embrace.  Just a brief hug.  How could that not in most cases make everyone feel better, the hugger and the hugee.

       Go years without a hug or word of endearment and it creates a wedge of loneliness.  And for some if it is not too late...it is close. 

       Think about it...a physical touch...an emotional touch of a word or too...a directed smile...an attempt maybe not done so well because you have allowed yourself to get out of practice.

       Or, if you are still alive with your relationship... it is not work but a wonderful habit...praise be to God...keep it up.

       Oh, I know...it's not that simple.  Problems in relationships hinge on simple things that become profound when they are ignored or forgotten for too long at time.

       There are the emotional tongue tied who can't say "I love you." and the reasons are multiple.

       "Of course I love you.  Didn't I tell you so on our wedding day.  If my feelings for you ever change, you'll be the first to know."

       But it isn't funny.  And those magic words do mean a lot.  And they pulse with the opportunity to up the content of a marriage from fair to good and maybe even more.

       Enough jokes have been made about the problem to paper thousands of homes.

       Allow me to make an analogy.

       In your childhood how many times did your parents tell you they loved you.  Lots?  (Children who are never told  they are loved have emotional problems.  Ask any psychiatrist).

       How would you like your mother to have said to you?  "Of course I love you.  Didn't I tell you as soon as you were old enough to understand? If my feelings for you ever change, you'll be the first to know."

       Your father?  "We love you.  If our feelings change, you'll be the first to know."

       Down through your childhood... and even though you acted like you didn't want to hear it when you were a teenager...would you really have never wanted you parents to say it...that they loved you.

       No marriage stays the same.  It is on a rapid rise or a downward spiral...but then why should anything else be expected...that is what life is. 

       So what to do to make it better...realize that women are different...on the whole they like to talk more (yes, there are exceptions) so husband...all you have to do is sharpen your listening skills.
 
       And yes...whose responsibility is it to work the hardest to make a marriage a good marriage?  Both...giving 100%...that way comparisons go out the window because it is hard to give more than 100%.
     Recognize your differences.  Play to the differences with compassionate concern.  Don't just throw selfish behavior out the window.  Stamp on it so hard there is nothing left to throw out the window.

       In short...don't apply for the opera lead...you know...you singing "Me...me...me."

       "Your happiness is more important to me than my own happiness."  To the degree a couple practices this positive...to that degree their marriage will be better and then best. 

       Don't head up a course called TELL THE OTHER MATE WHAT TO DO ON A REGULAR BASIS 101.  It's called "nagging" and it is worth its weight in ineffectiveness because that is what it achieves.

       Do you who are reading these thoughts like to know you are loved?  Do you like to hear it even more?  Are mates who often say to each other "I love you" happier?  Does sunshine sweep away the darkness?

       Are these all and the only suggestions I have for a good marriage?  Hardly.  Fifty plus years of counseling have produced quite a number of insights.

       But these are enough for now...for the both of us...I say the both of us for I never give advice that I do not read back to myself and more than once.

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Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

            A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin,

Love flows through a marriage that lives up to mutual responsibility. “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24) Ask yourself: “How can I spur him on to encourage him?”

 Don’t isolate yourself, “Let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25).
 
• A true demonstration of love: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for each other.” (1 John 3:16)

QUOTE BELOW IS FROM WYRICK'S WRITINGS

          There is no other organization in the world like the church.  It is a breed unto itself.  It is a congregation of sinners, not a country club for saints.  To become a member you have to profess your unworthiness. 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING TO TAKE YOU THERE


      (These are selected sermons from over 50 years of ministry and as a worldwide evangelist Rev. Wyrick preached them all the United States and all over the world)

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      A new quote  (posted Aug 20) below from Rev. Wyrick's 9th book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN...available on amazon.com, barnes and noble and many other book sites) (read the rave reviews below)

Everything that happened in the war was not of blood and pain and hate.  The best in man sometimes rises out of the worst.  More than likely the story of what happened one cold day during the terrible battle of Fredericksburg reached Abe’s ears and pleased the heart of this forgiving President.  It was a dreadful battle that cried out for some miraculous act of empathy.

A Sergeant Richard Kirkland of Company E Carolina Regiment made a request of his commanding officer that was almost denied.  He had looked too long at the tortured, twisted dead and dying men and could finally stand it no more.  He sought startling permission to take water and aid to those dressed in both Blue and Gray. 

“You may get a bullet in the back of your head, son,” he was told.  The soldier replied that he wanted to go anyway.

 “May God protect you,” said Major General J. B. Kershaw.  A short time later, men on both sides of this field of agony and despair, watched in awe as the young man vaulted over a bloodstained stonewall and walked unarmed and seemingly unafraid among the dead and dying.  They saw him kneel down and cradle a fallen Union soldier in his arms, offer him a drink of water, rest his head on his knapsack and cover him with his own overcoat.  And then move to another soldier nearby.  This time it was a Confederate soldier.

Again and again throughout that long, pale December afternoon, just eleven days before Christmas, Sergeant Kirkland returned with water until every living soldier, from both the North and the South, had felt his compassion and concern.

General Kershaw later wrote that not one shot was fired during that time.  That never had he heard such silent respect.  “…no doubt,” his pen etched, “all the trumpets of heaven resounded on this monumental day.” 

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            CLICK ON  www.go60.us   IT WILL TAKE YOU A NEW WEBSITE FOR SENIORS....click on "Voice" on the home page and then on the list of authors click on Neil Wyrick

Recent articles Rev. Wyrick has written for this web site are:  REFLECTIONS


·         Here Comes Summer (July 2012)

·         Spring (May 2012)

·         Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow (April 2012)

·         Wayward and Windy (April 2012)

 

Just remember that “the pain of discipline will cost you pennies, whereas the pain of regret will cost you millions.”

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How can we keep our faith from being a weak and fruitless thing?  How can we not be foolish little men and women groveling in the dark shadows of overeager egos. 


          Well, first we must do more than just pray.  We must believe in our own prayers.

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Anxiety out of proportion makes us become like a centipede trying to put his best foot forward.

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        It's an old joke, I went to the doctor and I said, “Doc, when I do this, it hurts.” And the doctor said, “Then don't do that.”

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        How many things have you been anxious about that were things which you knew before you got into them were probably going to create some problems for you?  And if you asked your doctor, or your minister, or common sense and your God, all of them would have said, “Don’t do that.”

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        To buy into the community of accountability we have to realize that like bikers we are divided into two categories.  Those who have fallen and those who will fall for anything. None of us are perfect.

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          Think on it this way, some philosopher of old wrote it and it endures because there is so much truth in it… every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty

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      Some of the sermon titles posted recently


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Before you decide to purchase or not purchase his book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN.... view his Award Winning One Man Dramatization of Lincoln (since he wrote the script for this drama it will give you an insight into what you will find in the book itself)

Available on Amazon.com in printed form and on Amazon Kindle Books. and at many other sites

TO VIEW THE LINCOLN One Man DRAMA and 3 other dramas; Ben Franklin, Martin Luther & Charles Wesley

click on the following URL

http://www.speakerneil.com/

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BELOW ARE MORE QUOTES FROM NEIL'S RECENTLY POSTED SERMONS

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A QUOTE FROM THOUGHTS POSTED ON MY OTHER BLOG WYRICK'S WRITINGS ON SUNDAY APRIL 15. ENTITILED

 

       Two stores faced each other across a very busy street.  Their owners were in constant competition with each other.  One day, the owner of one store put out a sign that read – If you want it, we have it!

Almost immediately the other owner put out a sign –If we don’t have it, you don’t need it!

 

A QUOTE FROM THOUGHTS POSTED ON MY OTHER BLOG WYRICK'S WRITINGS ON THURSDAY APRIL 13TH. ENTITILED

WHO ARE YOU?

NO…WHOSE ARE YOU?

       Who are you?  Whose are you?

You influence and are influenced according to the answer you give.     

Are you are the flavor of the month because you are determined to be like everyone else no matter what?  If so, consider being more independent in our thinking and actions...because God wants you to grow up.

It may be easier being someone's shadow but wouldn't you really rather be a sun. 

 

       QUOTE FROM THOUGHTS  POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITINGS THURSDAY  APRIL 5 FROM THOUGHT ENTITLED "Who Are You?  Whose Are You?"

       This is an old quote, and a romantic one as well but, nevertheless, can anyone say of you, “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

            QUOTE FROM THOUGHT PIECE POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITINGS TUESDAY APRIL 3 FROM THOUGHT ENTITLED

" WHEN A NATION STRAYS TOO FAR FROM BEING MORAL IT IS WELL ON IT'S WAY TO BECOMING A MESS

        James 4:17

To him therefore who knows to do good, and doesn’t do it, to him it is sin.

        Someone once said: “A belief is what you hold, a conviction is what holds you!”

        So what holds you, constructs you, leads you with a push when needed?

       Quotes POSTED ON WYRICK'S WRITING THURSDAY MARCH 29th THOUGHTS ENTITLED WHO ARE YOU?

NO…WHOSE ARE YOU?

        In a Peanuts cartoon strip Peppermint Patty is shown talking to Charlie Brown.

“Guess what, Chuck? It’s the first day of school and I got sent to the principal’s office.

And it’s your fault!”

Charlie Brown responds, “My fault? How could it be my fault? Why do you say everything is my fault?”

To which she declares, “You’re my friend, aren’t you, Chuck? You should have been a better influence on me.”

In the comics, it’s funny… but in real life it’s much more complicated.

       Would you like to read the entire thought piece?  Then... TO TAKE YOU TO THE WYRICK'S WRITING'S SITE

                                        click on the following


          Yes, God loves you the way you are but he loves you too much to let you stay that way.

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      Click on the URL below to WATCH NEIL IN HIS WORLD FAMOUS ONE MAN DRAMATIZATIONS OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, BEN FRANKLIN, CHARLES WESLEY AND MARTIN LUTHER


       To Order and Read Neil's 9th book THE SPIRITUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN

       GO TO amazon.com

       QUOTES ABOUT THIS WONDERFUL INSPIRING INFORMATIVE book

       STILL RECEIVING RAVE REVIEWS 8 YEARS AFTER IT'S PUBLICATION.

       "Positive, powerful utterances...skillfully enhancing our understanding and appreciation of Lincoln while revealing the Divine source of his strength."

       Lt. Colonel C.A. Olsen (Ret.) Asbury College (Professor Ret.)

       "The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln is an extremely well written book that investigates what might be termed the spiritual side of President Lincoln. It's both scholarly and very readable. I came away impressed at Mr. Wyrick's portrayal of the President and with an altered and enlarged vision of the man:'

       William Hoffman, Award winning fiction writer; author of Blood and Guile, and Wild Thorn

       "Wyrick has authored a wonderful examination of the spirituality of one of American history's most devoutly religious leaders...a pleasant and readable book that has a rich depth of information."

              Maynard Pittendreigh Presbyterian minister

        "When it comes to invoking religion in support of any of their decisions, politicians need to sit at the feet of Abraham Lincoln. Reinhold Niebuhr once called him 'America's greatest theologian.' Why so great? Because he invariably distinguished between human works and the works of the Almighty. As Wyrick says, 'He wore the mantle of humility easily: because he was more impressed with what God was doing in the world than with what he, president of the United States in the midst of an awful crisis, was doing. That is why in his last major speech he distinguished between both human causes in the Civil War and the Almighty's 'own purposes.' Lincoln would have agreed that it is better to leave God-talk out of politics than to decorate human proposals with divinity. This is a book for our American time. Through his careful study of Lincoln's career, Wyrick compels us to remember that piety belongs in politics only when piety transcends politics."

       Dr. Donald W. Shriver

       Emeritus professor at Union Theological Seminary in New York. Author of An Ethic for Enemies: Forgiveness in Politics

        "V. Neil Wyrick's fine work allows the reader to appreciate Abraham Lincoln's Christian commitment and his prophetic role in American history. Should have a wide readership."

       James H. Smylie Professor of Church History (Ret.) Union Theological Seminary, Richmond, Virginia

       "Neil Wyrick's The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln should be read by anyone attempting to understand the man who was probably the most complex person to ever hold the office of president of the United States. Dr. Wyrick is intent on demonstrating that the spirituality so often expressed in Lincoln's writings and speeches was not merely lip service to a Deity, but rather expressions of a profound faith in a real God. It was this faith that provided the wisdom, compassion, insight and sometimes steel that Lincoln would need in full measure as he led the United States through the Civil War. Dr. Wyrick's clear and unpretentious style of presentation is very much in keeping with the character ofhis subject, and in so doing, Wyrick makes his point very well that Lincoln, his beliefs, and the faith that formed them, are as relevant to a troubled America in 2004 as they were in 1863."

       Daniel Allen Butler, author of "Unsinkable"; The Full Story of the RMS Titanic, The Lusitania and The Age o f Cunard

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